"It wasn't?" Kevin said.
"You all thought we were having a meeting to talk about what we didn't like in Nick's book?"
"I didn't know," Brian said. "I just go where I'm told."
AJ said, "I thought there was going to be food."
"Can't I just stay in my room?" Nick said. "And Justin can stay in his, and everybody will be much happier."
"Maybe you'll have fun," Kevin said. "You two might even become friends."
"Have you met Justin?" Nick said.
He peered at himself in the mirror. "Does this shirt make me look guardian evil or sexy evil?"
"Hey, it's better than any of the books I've written, right? I mean, I haven't written any, but still. And it was a fun read -- lots of monkeys, and you know what I always say, nothing says good literature like a bunch of monkeys. Shakespeare could have used more monkeys, I always thought."
"You know that doesn't mean real monkeys," Howie said. "It's slang for --"
"I stopped being interested when you said no real monkeys," Chris said. "I'm disappointed. I kind of liked being Chris, Earl of Rothinghamtonfordshire, Lover of Monkeys."
"Why, Howard D," Chris said, "you sound as if you think I'm untrustworthy around impressionable youth."
"That's because that's exactly what I think."
"Why, I think I'm offended. Do you know what I do when someone calls me untrustworthy?"
"You act really upright and righteous so that you regain their trust?"
"Yeah, that would probably be the mature thing to do," Chris said. "Sadly, I'm very immature. What I do is, I think, hey, buddy, you think you've seen untrustworthy? And then I act very untrustworthy. Very untrustworthy indeed, as our friend the Earl of Rothinghamtonfordshire might say. Very untrustworthy indeed."
-from Earl of Rothinghamtonfordshire by Jae